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I have been close companions with a woman, a person who's faced and conquered several challenges, which I admire. Yet, she's constantly taken by surprise by people. Her partner ended their marriage, and it was a huge shock. A lot of her social circle disappeared then, since they had been drawn to him. It shocked her. She put in more effort toward our bond, likely grasped more clearly the meaning of companionship.

The Pattern With Friends Drifting Away

In the time since, several in her circle vanished and she isn't certain of the reason. The company she worked for suddenly changed toward her, despite the fact that she was very skilled at her work, she departed unaware of what had changed.

Present Situation

In recent times, we have each left the workforce leading to more each other more, however, I feel the part I play in our friendship is as the audience. I introduce discussion points only for her to redirect conversation onto her own topics. Regarding political views, she expresses firm beliefs. I attempt to propose verifying facts and alternate views.

She is organizing a vacation to a country I have traveled to many times even called home for some time. I attempted to provide personal experiences, but this was unappreciated. She essentially solely sought my agreement with her plans. I recently ended a month in that country she is eager to reconnect, but I don't.

Considering the Choices

I hesitate in this role that walks away without a word, yet I doubt she'll truly grasp the effect of how she acts on my confidence. Right now, I find myself in avoidance mode. What should I do?

Ways Forward

One option is to end things abruptly, but it is seldom the easy answer we imagine. However, addressing it with the goal of working things out demands strength and readiness on both your parts.

Therapists recommend trying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Step one involves describing the usual pattern in your conversations. This needs to be as factual as possible and essentially what a recording device would replay. The second is to express how this leaves you feeling. Ideally, there's no dispute here. What you feel belong to you, of course. Step three is to ask how the two of you going to change the dynamics of your friendship."

Consider that she also has her own side, meaning you must to remain ready to acknowledge it. An approach that works is telling her:

"Now you talk while I will remain silent for half an hour."

It's wildly impactful in fostering understanding.

Final Thoughts

She may dismiss everything, for those who have a “survival narrative”: they maintain a narrative regarding their experiences they're unable to let go of as it feels essential relies on it and it represents they trust. This poses a challenge as there is no clear path with these people, only cul-de-sacs. However, she might initially present like this then consider about what you've said. And should a resolution isn't found an agreement, you'll have peace that you've been open and direct.